It was an exhilarating experience for me, and I still remember every little detail. When we got into our designated seats and the airhostess aunties (no reflection on the general age of IA staff, when you're 8 years old every babe is an aunty :D ) brought us toffees and a welcome drink, I felt like royalty. When the plane completed taxiing and turned on full thrust for the final takeoff, it sank me into my seat, and I wondered how much power the engines must be producing right now. After takeoff the pilot came on to the PA system and announced that the distance to Mumbai is about 2000 kms and we will complete the journey in 2.5 hrs, I turned around and asked my mom "That means we will be travelling at 800 kms per hour (smart kid I was, see? :D ). Our Ambassador has a speedometer marked to 140kmph. The plane must have a speedo marked to 800 kms per hour, tai na?" They served us lunch and I ate heartily, thinking I was ek din ka sultan and the food served to me was no less than what Prince Charles must be served at Buckingham.
The most hilarious incident was I trying to pass motion on the plane toilet. Before boarding, a rather mischievous relative had told me that when you shit on the plane, the (err...) shit falls down on the heads of people over whom the plane is flying. This I had to see!! Sadly, however much I tried I couldn't manage to shit in the plane's lavatory, so I never got to see the unique spectacle explained to me in such graphic detail.
Before landing, one of the aunties gave me a handful of toffees. I remember I had a severe pain in my ears (happens to a lot of people due to the atmospheric pressure change inside the cabin during take-off and landing) yet still managed to thank her and say goodbye to all of them. We got off at Mumbai airport and I promised to myself that flying - the best experience in the whole world - is something I have to keep doing.
22 years have passed since then and I've flown countless times - business and pleasure. I am a frequent flyer on the 2 largest private sector airlines in India. I genuinely enjoy those 2-3 hours of nothingness in the air, and find countless things to do - read a book, work on an office assignment, or just sit back and think. Secretly, I still feel like that little 9 year old boy when the pilot turns on full thrust. The airports have changed from being basic stop-overs to fantastic facilities where you can spend hours. Try the new Delhi airport for instance. (Of course, Kolkata airport still continues to be as miserable as it always was - but hope springs eternal). To put it simply, I love flying!
Every air traveller has his share of stories, and I have mine. Like this one time in 2007 when I was flying from Ahmedabad to Kolkata on a Kingfisher night flight. There was this very attractive young airhostess, dusky, with an Angelina Jolie-esque pout. She showered lavish attention on me, bringing me the customary extra dessert, and laughing with genuine warmth instead of the cold clinical smile that most air hostesses perfect. After dinner most of the passengers went to sleep. There was some time for the flight to land, and I asked for something (probably another bottle of water). She came over, and over the course of asking for a bottle we struck up a friendly conversation. She told me stuff like where she stays in Kolkata, where she's done her education from, how long she's been on the job etc - as did I. That was the only time I've shared any bit of personal information with an airhostess, and in respect to her profession, I never tried to contact her after that. Never saw her again though. Probably in this plastic generation, airlines don't like employing people possessing genuine smiles.
There have been instances where I've been thankful to the pilots. One time I was flying from Kolkata to Hyderabad on an Air Sahara flight. It was terrible weather at Hyderabad, thunderstorms and pitch darkness - at just 5 in the evening. Our pilot warned us of the weather as we were approaching the city. Just when the plane started its descent, it got trapped in the thunderstrom. I could see flashes of lightning outside my window, and the whole plane was shaking. It was so bad that we could hear the luggage getting thrown around in the overhead bins. People were chanting their prayers, and my heart was in my mouth. Yet to his credit, the pilot managed to execute a perfect landing. When we were getting off, he came on the intercom and said "I thank you for flying Sahara". I told one of the airhostesses as I was getting off "No, tell the pilot that we thank him for saving our lives".
And that last incident brings me to the topic I wanted to discuss. Who are the people flying our planes? Today morning's paper carried this article where the aviation authorities have decided to come out with a more fool-proof system of detecting tipsy pilots (Click to activate link). Apparently, in the last 4 days the authorities tried the new system, they've caught 4 drunk pilots. This includes a very senior person in AI who's a training captain in AI and a flight ops inspector with DGCA.
Really? Did you know, o regular business traveller, that all this while your planes were being flown by drunk pilots? The man who was bringing you home to your wife and child could have been in a state where he's incapable to look after himself, let alone a 40 tonne aircraft with 180 passengers???
Please spare us, Mr Pilot. We pay through our noses for airline tickets and then stand in endless queues waiting to be checked in. When we see you, in shiny uniforms, being whisked through the gates, we don't feel sad. We respect you. Don't make us lose that respect. Don't bring yourself down to the level of night lorry drivers, who're often found in the same state as you.
What was that you said? Oh, its not always the pilots to blame? Of course its not. Pilot Fatigue is one of the biggest causes of airline accidents in this country. We have too many aircraft and too many routes to fly, yet not enough qualified pilots. So you're paid double or triple your actual rate to fly extra hours. But of course, you're human, so you tend to buckle under the exhaustion some times. Like when both pilots in an Air India flight fell asleep and the plane travelled to Goa instead of landing at Mumbai (Link). Funny, isn't it? What's so bad about landing at Goa anyway? Just have a couple of beers and come back.
But sometimes it doesn't stay so funny. Like when one of you slept throughout the flight, and the aircraft crashed near Mangalore, killing 150 passengers. The data box picked up sounds of snoring inside the cockpit, and the co-pilot saying "We have no more runway left". Shame.
Sometimes unbelievable things happen, like an instance where a plane landed at Kochi instead of Kozhikode, and no one - the crew, the pilot or the airport - had any real explanation to offer. In the end the crew justified themselves saying they would have crossed the Flight Duty Time Limit if they continued till Kozhikode. Pull the other one, I say.
Who's that little voice in the corner? Oh the airline company? Yes sir, what do you have to add? Its not always your or your crew's fault? I agree. We live in India after all. A country where an Air Traffic Controller actually forgets which shift he's supposed to come in for. As a result his post stays unmanned. When the pilot of a loaded aircraft frantically calls in, the ATC's GM actually has to take the help of a fireman to guide the aircraft in to land!
Its unbelievable. Of course, considering this is religious India, and the airport in question was Tirupati, we will convince each other that it was the lord who took the fireman's guise and saved the passengers. And all will be well.
Enough. I can keep on pulling out little URLs of these instances. But lets make the point. Dear Airline, Pilot, Crew, DGCA, and whoever else is associated with the airline industry in our country. There are millions of people flying your planes at the moment - out of compulsion or out of pleasure. Some of them, like me, still enjoy flying with all the enthusiasm of a 9 year old kid.
These people keep your wallets going. Please be aware that you are responsible for their basic safety. Billions of dollars are spent every year factoring in safety measures into aircraft construction, and some more billions in pre-flight testing. Don't let human negligence destroy all this. We have families to come back to, as have you. Lets bring the joy back into flying.
Enjoyable except the "Shit" bit
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